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Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
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it feels like a summer concert series and global warming is headlineing. printed this morning and saw things come together. a breath of fresh air. erman came back from l.a. hell be moving there feb 1st. and i think its a good move for him. i didnt miss him much, i feel like he lets me down often. he doesnt really listen, although i know he cares about me. and i him.
ashley shot photos of me. meghann gave me the 4.5 tutorial. ill be purchasing a lovely toyo on thurs.
went to the canvas last night with adrian, ben, and bens girl. watched embarrasing stand up, but now im addicted and have to go every tuesday.
a;lso saw a movie on sun night with taylor and ted. teriffic brazzilian film i cant remember the title of. taylor is off to san jose this weekend.
shane is sick.
been questioning wether i want in country mobility or international exchange. everyone thinks that going overseas is the shit. doent mean youll do good work though.
i want to do good work.
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Saturday, November 12th, 2005
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met with jonathen last night, in a meeting that went well. i was pleasantly surprised with the lack of pretension and how much room hes giving me to show my work the way i want it to be seen. with helpful advice. so febuary 1st is the opening.
got a scathing email from jackie today. part negligence, but also forgetfullness. having a two year friendship over the phone is hard. new friends seem to become more real, and old ones old memories. fond memories.
talked with geoff in length last night about all things good.
trying to get erman to hang at ritual.
drinking a lot of coffee today.
spent the evening with drew and his girlfriend joey. a very banal girl and vapid evening, drinking tropical explosion from four foot straws. it felt like an episode of the real world. tropical real world explosion.
talked with jono. ate pizza. want sushi. met with debra. love dalores. and think ester is the greatest name of all.
pace.
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Friday, November 11th, 2005
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its a cool and cloudy day in the city. perfect for coffee and my egg and cheese croissant.
shane and i will maybe shop? and definitely check out the adam fuss show at fraenkl. talked with my dad today about coming home for a holiday shabam. and cant wait to be back in reno. maybe someday after i find some success in what i do, ill call that state home again.
looked into independent studies, and am thinking about doing it somewhere in the northeast. maine in particular.
and now its raining. i was fortunate enough to see snow last week. i dont understand the desire to live ion areas of the word that are devoid of seasonal change. i feel like its crucial for me to be a part of that process. and that process ive been thinking about a lot lately. theres such a disconnect with the earth, compared to people living in other parts of the world, this country even. and i find myself being pulled to nature. away from the ratteling of broken fenders and jackhammers. i miss the large expanses of quietness and solace that ive found in so many places in this country. dont get me qrong though, i love the city. i think that maybe its less physical and more metaphysical. like a quiet landscape inside myself that im wishing to return to or find.
my friend ben is a practicing buddhist, not that i have a desire to practice anything. but i might get a book. ill start with that.
shane is waiting for her coffee, and we have many things not to do today.
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Tuesday, November 8th, 2005
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| Time: | 10:02 am. |
| Music: | seventeen evergreen. |
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returned from an incredible road trip to nevada on sunday night. ben, kelly, adrian, mark, whitney, and myself. the drive down let us see snow, and the temperatures in tonopah were a wicked 36 degrees. overall the vibe of the group was splendid. we all get along so well. sad to hear that ben is moving back to conneticut.
tomorrow i meet with dr. montgomery. the man im enstrusting to cut open my knee and fix it. crutches for eight weeks. how awesome is that?
i talked to ian yesterday. ate well. walked to soma. got wet from the rain. stretched. fed the cat. printed.
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Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
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| Time: | 10:22 am. |
| Mood: |  hungry. | | Music: | brian eno. |
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ah. holloween came and went, and i never saw it coming nor did i realize it was even here when it did arrive. my hopes of experiencing the castro will have to wait until next year.
ermin is making me write this:gregarious osgood schlatter shark attack with air jaws. spill my coffee and ill spill you. love is in the lions mane.
i had my mri on saturday. the prequel to knee surgery. prior to that mark showed up at my building at 4am. we drove 90 minitues north and watched the sun rise through the fog, and over the vineyards.
thursday, i become tour guide. ive arranged a field trip for class and am taking seven friends on a three day trip through nevada.
ive missed surfing a lot lately. i think nephi and myself are going to venture down to santa cruz next week.
i wrote heather today. i miss that girl.
i hope all is well with everyone.
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Wednesday, October 26th, 2005
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| Time: | 7:47 pm. |
| Mood: | shaka. | | Music: | mix. |
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its been a frustrating day. and a long one. i showed some work to bill, a wonderfully nice man who is trying to get me in zoetrope. and had a long conversation with nephi who asked if id like to try out for seventeen evergreen.
shawn called last night during dinner and told me that his tour had taken him to nectar (of all places). it brought back terrific memories of dubocherous parties, movies on the roof and the george. not to mention many a night turning the place into skate parks, disco arenas manifesta, meat markets, brazil, fight club, sweatshop, sex house and dirty underpants.
ah
ian, i miss ya.
spent yesterday out along the delta. it was exceptionally windy and perfectly warm. so nice to get out of the bay area. adrian drove, whitney sang and kelly played along.
had a lovely conversation with jono today. ill be going to see him when the baby comes. yesterday he saw the ultrasound. i cant think of a better dad. maybe me.
maybe not.
we talked about waves, africa, injured forearms, and his wife. whom he loves.
i gave carol her tom waits cd. she gave me a smile.
i gotsta git.
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Sunday, October 23rd, 2005
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quickly. i want to leave and take a shower.
but first...
what a nice day it was, but not spectacular. its difficult when paige and taylor come in the cafe. and thats all i can say about that.
erman returned from long beach today. i guess he met a girl. im happy for him. tomorrow im going with him to get his tattoo and photograph it.
shane b. is still sick and left for new mexico to be with family.
i thought a lot about old friends today. namely john and jono. i hope to see him before his baby comes. i hope he names it savage, especially if its a girl.
iron and wine came through. 35$. fuck that.
im going home.
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Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
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| Time: | 7:19 pm. |
| Mood: | considering. | | Music: | digable planets. |
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shane and i returned from nv today. we ate breakfast and then dad saw us off.
last night after a big dinner at the stonehouse we watched raging bull. a teriffic movie. i left shane to sleep, and headed up geiger grade.
i spent about half an hour on the overlook. reno is rather beautiful from a distance.
do you ever hope for the human race? and that maybe a small bit of that hope will change everthing for the better?
well, i guess it was a good night to do such things.
and i took a picture of a comet.
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Tuesday, February 10th, 2004
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last night john, shane, leif and i watched in complete silence "the mexican", a movie that i advised them to get for the evening, and a movie that was so bad i was embarrased to be the one to advise. however i found a way to cope by falling asleep rolled into a ball with a jean jacket covering my face. i woke up this morning on johns couch.
liss and i had breakfast at glo's, and now were dorking out on the internet.
yet another girl flaked on me again.
alissas my relationship expert, she has it pretty good these days so shes fairly unsypathetic to my poor and weary heart. this has gone too far.
subject change.
my good friend geoff rolls into town on friday to try his hand at grad school. geoff is a man whom deserves deep explanation, but will get none here because my fingers will fall off writing about him.
the sunset was amazing this morning. it felt good to be up early.
it hasent rained in two days. lets hope it never does again.
for fuckssake, is anyone else ready for summer?
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Saturday, January 10th, 2004
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i watched the late night become the wee hours of the morning, but not before filling my body with a hundred pounds of beer and jager. the catch were wonderful, and i think that i did a sufficient job of talking way too much and hitting on every girl in the room. yet it was fun, and much deserved after being sick and working so much all the time. alissa has a new man, and im impressed how well they compliment eachhother, and i need to stop introducing him to people as kurt, because thats not his name. im an idiot.
to look at the river made of time and water
and remember that time is another river,
to know that we are lost like the river
and that faces dissolve like water.
to be aware that waking dreams it is not asleep
while it is another dream, and that the death
that our flesh goes in fear of is that death
which comes every nite and is called sleep.
to see in the day or in the year a symbol
of the days of man and of his years,
to transmute the outrage of the years
into a music, a murmur of voices, and a symbol,
to see in death sleep, and in the sunset
a sad gold-such is poetry,
which is immortal and poor. poetry
returns like the dawn and the sunset.
at times in the evenings a face
looks at us out of the depths of a mirror;
art should be like that mirror
which reveals to us our own face.
they say that ulysses, sated with marvels,
wept tears of love at the sight of his ithaca,
green and humble. art is that ithaca
of green eternity, not of marvels.
it is also like the river with no end
that flows and remains and is the mirror of one same
inconstant herclitus, who is the same
and is another, like the river with no end.
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Friday, January 9th, 2004
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i managed to wake up somehow. picked jono up, and made the best friggin breakfast for all the designers who are in town for the fashion show tonite.
later on i fucked up a painting ive been working on for months. im going to find a concrete block and chain and send its shitty little life to a watery grave.
ah, its so frusterating. i need to put it down and start something new.
painting can be really hard sometimes.
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Sunday, January 4th, 2004
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its late. and why i take the time to write even the shortest of lines is beyond me. today was rad. and yesterday the roomate previously posted as the one who wouldnt give me the time of day, made me a fabulous homemade meal. so whos the asshole now?
5.benadryl
4.kleenex
3.carmex
2.jesselynn desmond?
1.sleep
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Saturday, January 3rd, 2004
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i arrived home last night to a cold and empty house, save for the one roomate who didnt talk to me. why? im not sure, so i made him chai this morning (you know, its cold out) but he didnt drink it, and instead it also became cold sitting alone on the sill of my living room window. how sad.
anyways.
today should be busy, and probably everyday thereafter.
by the way, i completely understand that noone reads this journal, but if you happen to pass by it on the way towards other important places than write this down.
the catch will be playing at m:pulse in fremont on friday. m:pulse is rad, the catch is rad, and i also have paintings hanging up.
ive been gone for what feels like three hundred years, its as if i have to reaquaint myself with this city.
its hard not to appreciate things when its like this.
oh, and i put irish bagpipes down on my list last journal. i think its scottish?
5.chai
4.heaters
3.bathrooms
2.the mysterious internet girl from shoreline
1.saturdays
i hope everyone is safe and happy and has enough food to eat.
andl liss, you were sorely missed on the drive yesterday. it sucked.
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Thursday, January 1st, 2004
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so im sick. alissa and i are leaving tomorrow. me for seattle and her for la. i feel that i might miss her. i also feel like i havent been home in years. i didnt make andreas crush list.
so its the first day of 2004. we all gotta get it together people. stop being so fucking lame all the time. be cool. my new years resolution this year is get my shit together. i expect the same from everyone else.
what else.
how bout my own crush list.
5.yachats
4.irish bagpipes
3.a body free from the ills of fludom.
2.the mysterious internet girl from shoreline.
1.snowflakes
lets all hope we have a fabulous year with beautiful friends and family. lets be safe, healthy, sober when we drive, drunk when we dance. and always, always, love our moms.
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Monday, October 27th, 2003
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i keep meeting all these wonderful people. they just keep coming.
and old friends seem so damn cool these days. work is great.
jeez.
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Monday, October 20th, 2003
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there are small things.
and when they go awry, a vein in my temple bulges like a torniquit wrapped around the arm of an addict.
but they remain small, i would dare to proclaim them tiny.
like hitting your thumb with a hammer or spending five minutes trying to zip up my jacket.
besides these tiny things, in addition to feeling a bit under the weather on saturday, my weekend was a splendid display of all things wonderful after a difficult week at work.
yesterday saw the arrival of john hodges.
hes five foot three and could beat the shit out of my face if he wanted.
but he doesnt.
we played throw the slobber ball to the dog on speed game down by the beach.
ate food twice and drank cofee.
gathered in seriousness for awhile and then made fun eachother the rest of the day.
it was an absolutely ridiculous and dumb display of how uncool we both are and how that makes us the coolest guys on planet earth.
jono came over with his lady.
we churched and then ate beans and rice and met the fools for mystic river.
to those of you who actually read this dumbtyping, dont ever see mystic river.
and to those of you who actually read this crap and do go see it, and like it, well then, i never want to see a movie with you.
went to bishops on vashon friday.
bars are dumb.
but the highlight.
the highlight was listening to 'the score' and realizing once again that lauren hill reins supreme over any and all hip hop artists.
talked with brenda.
jacobs dog lilly esacaped her leash and ate the entire 2lbs of a slab of pepper jack.
thought about god alot and prayed alot.
and gave thanks quite alot.
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Thursday, October 16th, 2003
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had a rough one today.
doesnt help that i cant fix it, all i can say is im sorry.
and im sayin it and sayin it.
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Wednesday, October 15th, 2003
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well.
tonite is reserved for a rockstar. and maybe that bum from the island.
i spotted geoff for two and a half minutes last afternoon, we shot the shit while hacking a dirty work sock and he paid for cofee. geoff was leaving us to study in nova scotia but has decided to just go home instead and work for honey baked hams. rad.
dave. man, you spilled your first beer but drank the rest like a real fucking champ. i havent had such a pleasant evening in all my life. cheers to you, our two years and counting, and the fact that we dont have to talk about pussy to have a good time.
the weekend.
was windy.
spent two nights curled in a ball under 700 pounds of flannel to keep warm from this impending doom of a winter. im looking foreward to it.
the mornings were late to rise, but fruitful and hard-worked. i have become a lover of work, and hope that through time, whatever lines divide my life and my job, blur completely and become inseperable.
friday night was jake and chris and a bunch of corousing at bishops. we danced late into the night.
i fell in love. again.
sat. scrabble and meatloaf at andrews and michelles.
we helped baker bob bring in his boat in the pouring rain, and i rediscovered that old dream of owning one myself.
now i cant forget it.
and ben. dear ben. thanks for dinner and the jam.
the rest of the week is too far gone to remember, but im sure it sucked.
in fact i recall being pretty far down on myself, and sad, and dumb.
i bought a scarf.
i keep thinking that this journal is just a record of things. events and places and simple stuff and such. im not trying to communicate really, but rather own
something to turn to when i forget maybe you, or maybe even me.
and maybe i should jot this down for myself incase i forget.
love.
your friends, family, and enemies. love your life.
because there exists know greater thing than to love. selflesly.
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Saturday, October 4th, 2003
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alas, a moment alone, and yet somehow i feel queasy and awkward. perhaps too much cofee, perhaps forgetting what its like to be with me.
i saw the morning at six to meet richard for a crab catch sesh early on kingston, our company was in good hands, beer and bums and an overcast sky that would not let up. i have been known to be mostly wrong, but i wonder if yesterday i got the last good look at the sun until march.
12 take homes, a 1/2 hour boil, and finally delight. although not enough to fill this stomach, so eventhough my good senses seem to lean towards the first quiet evening it what feels like an eternity, pizza and beer at bens might go well on this cold autumn night.
tomorrow up again, a 6:55am ferry and a day spent framing out the walls of a new and soon to be used shop.
last night was the g suite, dad watsons, still life, the george and jonahs ridiculous party of twenty with a full keg, five math rock bands, and zero conversation even between the ones who seemed to know oneanother. it was good to see allison and spend the entirety of an evening with john.
before long youll be gone, and so will you geoff.
this can be sad.
thurs.
the art walk.
tylers broken thermostat and a 15 minute conversation about some hybrid composite board i scored from work.
a commentary on pioneer square that left me stupid.
a beer.
10 hours of sleep.
wed.
fuck.
an evening with ms. mott. left me stupid.
although, i should say it was a good stupid, honest and sincere.
liss, you know, its been sometime. maybe i should call you and say hello.
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Monday, September 29th, 2003
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geoff drove me the decent walking distance so i could be on foot a bit longer today. its important for me not to miss a step in such blah blah weather, its helps me drink more cofee and think about the same things i think about all day long, but enjoy them more i suppose, at my own pace.
began a second week of forty plus hours. to bed early and up on time. this i enjoy because it gives me an excuse to have a lunchbox, and to be perfectly honest, money is nice to have. so much has hapened in the week or more since last posting stupid things, and im afraid that ive forgotton all of the good stuff. last night i played pool and drank beer at the zoo with people i recognize sort of. but jenny, it was refreshing to be in your presence. and congratulations for inheriting such wonderful eyes and giving us pictures. i said my goodbyes to kate crowe.
im working backwords here.
went to church and fell in love. jono and i made fun of art and ourselves and then ate cake. i met two different jens, one of which gave me her number eventhough i will never call. listened to the streets.
spent the weekend in bellingham and missed richards open mike, the one i promissed to attend. im making it up to him though, and taking him crabbing out on kingston this saturday. amys parents were nice enough to let me stay at there place. jono and i stretched ten canvases, made fun of more art and ourselves even more, went to the skate park, chilled out at lake wakum beneath the most beautiful autumn sky, ate potato barritos and wore tuxidos.
friday ended a productive week and a beer on richard at the shittiest shithole with the nicest of bartenders.
somewhere last week i saw u.s.e. with dave, had a potluck with the guys, dinner and a movie with rebekah, and decided im just not very cool.
talked to my dad.
need to talk to my sister.
miss talking to laura.
as i write this, i wonder if people criticize other peoples journals. that would be dumb if they did.
molly, ive been reading your entries, and am convinced that your the best person i know. i love you. so strange that our history is so big.
tomorrow i go to vashon, and visit the shop. i am amazed at the course my life has taken. the people in it and how ive changed because of them. im dumbfounded that somehow in everything ive ever wanted out of life up to this point, i end up single, 25, a college dropout and building furniture.
life is rad.
i hung out with tyler the other day, its funny because hes sorta famous for the stupidest reason. james bloomfield beat him up our sophmore year (i love james) but he kicked his forehead so hard that it actually bruised the print of his converse sole on his skin. it was horrible and i always remind him of that because he says i have the ugliest nose hes ever seen.
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dumbtype's journal
looking for a beer.
full.